I had shoulder surgery for a torn rotator cuff on December 11, 2007. I actually had an MRI back in February and I knew there was a tear that would require surgery. I drive a large commercial truck and move heavy pallets and materials for a living. I am an independent contractor and missed work equals lost income so surgery at that point wasn't feasible. I was counting on a good summer so I could save enough cash to cover the bills for 2 months, hopefully from 12/15/07 to 02/15/08. The summer was not very good and I barely saved enough to cover one month of expenses. Evidently I shredded the area fairly bad over the summer and the surgery became an incision type as opposed to arthroscopic as was planned. My rehab became 6 weeks of nothing followed by 6 weeks of light therapy. The tear was so bad that the surgeon insisted time was needed for it to heal before I could work on building it back up. So it took until March 10th, 12 weeks, before I was freed by my surgeon to begin using the resistance bands and weights.

That being the background, one can understand why, after January, we began feeling the pressure of being in the meat grinder, helpless to do anything on our own other than watch our finances begin the downward spiral. Margaret worked the extra hours she could get and we did what we could. Without support and gifts from friends and family, despair could have been easily added to our frustrations.

As of today, 05/25/08, I am driving my Corolla to deliver envelopes and small packages for Priority Courier. The truck was taken back by the company as the back lease payments piled up. As the 8 weeks became 10 weeks which became 12 weeks, the company felt the pressure of being on the hook for the mounting debt. The back payments I owed were rolled into the new lease for another driver who took over the truck. The value of the truck was able to fairly absorb the back due payments. Unfortunately, the income from the car deliveries is barely a fraction of the income needed. In addition, my shoulder is not yet healed to the point that I can handle heavy weight or overhead work. I am probably a month away from not being nervous about the type of work to do. My last visit to the surgeon was April 21, at which time I was instructed to be careful about heavy weights and overhead use for another 5 to 6 months. It would be hard to apply for certain labor jobs knowing there is a legitimate chance of not being able to adequately do the job, or worse, re-injure myself.

I am networking, sharing my situation with others and keeping my eyes and ears open for opportunities. I am looking for the open door to see where the next opportunity lies. There is a fine line between stepping out and waiting on God. I believe I am making sufficient effort to resolve the situation while taking the appropriate amount of caution. It is a tough place to be when the financial pressures are bearing down on the situation which also affects relationships in the household. I daily count on God's grace to see me through.


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Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me." John 14:6 That doesn't leave much wiggle room. Yet, we continue to try to get right with God on our own terms rather than submit to Jesus Christ.